Beauty without expression

Today could be the day

2008-12-10T08:35:00.003-06:00

I can't count how many times I've thought those words in the past 3 weeks. This Saturday is Davis' due date. I wonder if he knows this?

I woke up last night with a few more contractions. I guess Davis must realize something is going on.

I am beyond nervous and emotional and scared - but all of that is wrapped up in a strange peace. My verses of strength lately are so apt:

Psalm 121 I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth! He will not let you stumble and fall; the one who watches over you will not sleep.

I realize the 'sleep' commentary will apply more and more to my situation and almost (almost) laugh when I'm up at 2:00 ...and 3:00...and 4:00 a.m. and the verse pops into my head. Must get used to this.

I am so excited for that moment when I will hold Davis and see his beautiful f

ace, hands, feet and I will watch Jon melt and I know I will cry and turn into a blubbery mess. I do this - and it is NOT pretty. Poor Jon can attest. I've been blubbery often lately.

Speaking of blubbery - Sarah and I laughed hard while we took this picture last week:

Carving 2008

2008-10-30T09:04:00.005-05:00

Sarah and I carved our pumpkins last night. We took our inspirations from Martha Stewart.

In pregnancy news - I have started the dreaded waddle. In the past two days - there is a new sensation - I'll call pain - that allows for only a waddle. I'm hoping this was caused by too much yoga and will fade soon.

Til then, Jon has gotten used to pulling me out of cars and pushing me out of bed.

The Color Drive 2008

2008-10-23T15:43:00.010-05:00

This was my 7th annual Color Drive. The 3rd weekend of every October is reserved for the rest of my life. The title was coined by Pike County in 1988. To them it is a county wide craft festival, antique show, garage sale. To the women in Jon's family - it is so much more. We started our tradition in 2001. I was blessed to join in 2002. Rhonda, Sarah (Jon's sister), and I always attend and meet up with Connie (Jon's aunt) and Nanny (Jon's Grandma). Amanda (my closest comrade) and Katie (Sarah's closest comrade) have each made the trip 3 or 4 times as well and have a standing lifetime invitation.

It's not possible to put the weekend into words. It's always the same - and always completely different.

We stay at Nanny's in Pittsfield, Illinois. Both Rhonda and St

eve - Jon's parents - grew up in this town of under 5,000. The weekend is spent in Connie's suburban making our trek across Pike County. Pike County is just over the Mississippi River between Missouri and Illinois.

The weekend in statements and photos (see the title link for more pics):

We visit the family tree at their burial sites and bring them annual gifts. This year - mini muffins from our yummy brunch at The Eagle's Nest in Louisiana
Non-failingly, we visit Wilhelmina Ringling Pappenfort. She is buried with her husband - Otto, and family at the crest of a hill overlooking the mighty Mississippi. Unfortunately, she is faced the opposite way. Fortunately, her view really doesn't count. And we get a beautiful view as we visit. We haven't met Wilhemina, but her name captured us in 2002 and we've said hello ever since. One day we believe she'll become a character in a children's book.
Fried snickers, funnel cakes, corn dogs, (sloppy joe if your prego), fries with sugar, the BEST root beer you've ever tasted, breakfast around Nanny's table each morning - always biscuits and gravy and of course Nesquik.
BITTERSWEET. I was introduced to my love in 2001 and look forward to scavenging each year. It is a vine and the females produce an amazing orange cluster of berries. It's perfect for wreaths or decorations. We find it for sale at antique / craft shops - usually at the cost of $7 - $10 for a small bundle. If we sold what we found - we'd make some serious cash. But we're not in it for the money. Of course it's nice to know we bring a mint home in our trunk each year.

I'll let the photos take it from here. The weekend is less about the Colors (which have been so beautiful in the past) and more about the Drive. Being together in one space for a solid 48 hours has knitted us together. I am in love with these women and so honored to have them as family.

Dr. Quinn

2008-10-15T15:58:00.002-05:00

I am growing out my hair - which includes my bangs. When my hair stylist does my hair - she can make my bangs stay out of my face. I wish she were there when I woke up each morning. Instead, bobby pins have become a cherished friend. This morning I glanced in the mirror after my pinning work - and this is who I saw:

Dr. Quinn - not Sully. Sully's was the hair style I had pre-pinning.

War

2008-10-10T16:21:00.004-05:00

Davis and I are in the middle of a little war. He is pushing with his feet and knees against my stomach. I started pushing back and he's

kicking - HARD. Is it bad that this is cracking me up?

30 ish weeks

2008-10-10T13:57:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we had our 2nd ultrasound.

An email from me to the Jenkins' clan:

We're having........a boy - still :) much to Neal's dismay. ultrasound showed a healthy boy who didn't want his picture taken.

Response from Neal:

I believe my comments are being misconstrued! I was merely stating that sometimes those initial ultrasounds can be misleading. I'm very pumped for either gender! He must get his shyness from.......?

Davis is head down...and I mean way down. He didn't want to turn his head for a photo opp. He's curled up in a ball so that his feet are kicking me on my left lower belly. I've been wondering how in the world he has been positioned. I'd read that by now he should be head down but with kicks on my left, I was so confused.

He weighed in at 3 lbs 13 oz. Which is just crazy!

Some friends just had twins at 29 1/2 weeks. Here is a pic of Luke

with his Daddy. Luke weighs 2 lbs, 13 oz in this photo. I can hardly wrap my mind around

Davis' current size.

Whirlwind Wedding Weekend

2008-10-09T14:12:00.005-05:00

First I must brag. Amanda and I packed for a 4 day, 3 night trip - in our very own CARRY-ONs. This is huge - for both of us. I was spurred by a bet from Jon. I can understand why he didn't think I could actually do it, since the previous weekend I headed to Topeka for a 1 night excursion and had a Honda FULL (trunk included). Packing is not a strength of mine.

So - the real posting reason - CHRISSY'S WEDDING! ALL of the girls (with one exception of Lindsey Arellano who is due with baby Cruz in November) flew out to Sacramento to

celebrate Chrissy's wedding together. We each had the honor of playing a role in the Filipino

traditional wedding ceremony.

Here we are in a very non posed

picture having oh so much fun.

(I did wear the black strappies that disappeared into my feet by the end of the day. And I did bring back up flats.)

The feel of the weekend can be summed up into a few words.

Minivan. 9 girls. Wedding details. No sl

eep. 20 minutes to get ready.

However - the feel of the actual wedding can be summed up in one word - AMAZING.

This butler was ultra creepy - but the idea of a true butler fits so well with the reception mansion that I decided to include the picture (and yes, I am hidi

ng a basketball under my dress).

Chrissy and Caleb were whisked away in their limo as sparkler smoke lingered behind. I'm so excited for them and this new adventure in their life (cumulative now).

Here are a few more random pictures of Sacramento spottings that made me smile that weekend.

The University of California Davis was in Sacramento. However, I read this as a sentence to the world announcing my babies' name.

The dog in the fence was captured in the SkyMall magazine as our favorite find. Every dog wants to see on the other side of the fence. This would solve so many neighborhood barking annoyances. Genious!

R-HONDA

2008-09-25T15:09:00.002-05:00

Inspired aspirations - What I hope I've learned from my mother-in-law:

I want to be a mom who listens without bugging. I don't want to be remembered for asking the standard "mom" questions you never wanted to answer, "What did you learn in school today?"
I want to show up with unexpected gifts for my children. Gifts that they love because I have taken the time to observe and see what their tastes are, what they like and use.
I want to be available to drop what I am doing to help my children. Not to teach them that they cannot do it on their own - but to show them I love them. It's a fine line. I'd like to figure that balance out.
I want my children to turn out like my husband and his siblings. I pray that Jon and I can be as good of parents as his.

Crib pads, Cankles, and Cardio

2008-09-19T11:02:00.005-05:00

A friend (okay Sherrie) mentioned that she would be interested in the thoughts of a pregnant woman. I am a pregnant woman. I have thoughts. So I'll blog on some of the joys of pregnancy I'm experiencing.

The "stuff" can be overwhelming

If you go to target.com and search for crib pads - you'll find 505 matching products. Before last month - I don't know that I knew crib pads existed. They are a layer created to place under a crib sheet to prevent the inevitable diaper mishaps from ruining the crib mattress. This inevitable will be happening multiple times a day and in the middle of the night. It's been suggested that I make the bed with up to 3 layers of crib pad - sheet - crib pad - sheet to save time when I'm changing sheets at 3 a.m. Sounds simple enough to me - but then I did my Target search. What kind of crib pad do I need? They come in all sizes. Some are fitted, some look like flat blankets, some are reuseable, some are 18" x 18". America - the land of choices. I guess experience will narrow down the choices for me.

Bilbo Baggins

I have a friend who gave birth to a beautiful 8 lb 10 oz boy on Sept 15th. That friend truly did have hobbit feet thru her pregnancy, and she joked about it often. In the past two weeks, I've noticed a change I hadn't expected in my own feet. It's not every day - and I truly can't complain. But at the end of a day where I've spent most of it on my feet, I've noticed a new roundness of my foot, and my shoes/ socks leave a nice strain mark on my fattened skin.

I'm in a wedding this coming weekend. I had a great outfit all picked out - down to the strappy black sandals. I will be packing a back up plan just in case those black strappies threaten to disappear into a swollen abyss.

Cat & Cow

I have been enjoying my workouts thru out pregnancy ("thru out" sounds so odd to me. How long have I been pregnant? It hasn't been THAT long...but on Saturday I officially entered my 3RD TRIMESTER) I have enjoyed my walks tremendously. Swimming is grand. I laugh as I push off from every flip turn and my child does flips with me. My friend, Ashley, has gotten me back into the lifting kick, and I'm psyched to have a schedule. The cherry on top of it all has been Tuesday evening Prenatal Yoga.

Just the thought of it brings me a deep sigh of relaxation. It's a very small class - 2 pregnant women and the instructor - a saint called Lori. I am the least flexible person within miles of the studio - yet, I don't feel too stupid when Lori does a pose that my body refuses to imitate. After an hour + of true, deep stretching and deep breathing, and hip strengthening exercises, I leave walking on a cloud. I would highly recommend that any pregnant woman consider adding yoga to her regimen.

Namaste.

Life with Davis in the womb

2008-09-16T13:37:00.003-05:00

This is my attempt to take a good picture with my 2 year old nephew, Brogan. I think it was a success. It reveals exactly how he felt at that moment. Tired and seeking comfort from his 2 middle fingers (the exact way I sought comfort until I was about 5).

I love being around this kid. He is full of life. He smiles at everything he sees, and could care less if dog hair gets in his mouth via his ketchup covered fingers. When he smiles at me and growls in his low voice, "Auntberrrr", I could beam for hours.

I am 6 1/2 months pregnant. 27 weeks, 3 days to be exact. We're having a boy - Davis Jonathan Jenkins. Due to arrive December 13th.

Watching Brogan smile, laugh, cry brings me visions of a near future in my home. I watch other parents closely - seeing how they maneuver "control" in their children's behaviors. Thinking about the question marks of parenthood too much brings knots to my

stomach, but then there is the knowing that I truly cannot provide all my child needs and am not expected to. God is his provider, and it is Jon and my duty to trust in Him and teach Davis the same.

To steal a prayer from Stormie O'Martian's book - For This Child I Prayed - "Lord, make (us) the parent(s) you want (us) to be and teach (us) to pray and truly intercede for the life of (our) child. Lord, You said in your Word, "Whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive" (Matt 21:22). Thank you, Lord, for the precious gift of this child."

"The joy of the Lord is rich and deep and causes anyone who walks in it to be likewise. That's because joy doesn't have anything to do with happy circumstances; it has to do with looking into the face of God and knowing He's all we'll ever need."

Huckleberry Lauren

2008-05-27T14:58:00.002-05:00

My niece - Lauren as Huck. Her friend Cassidy as Tom.

Oh for a raft.

back on the bandwagon

2008-05-18T11:27:00.002-05:00

It's been awhile. But Amanda has inspired me yet again. I'll get back at this thing. I just spent hours teaching myself a bit about Adobe Photoshop. When the 30 day free trial is up, I will be very sad. Loved making this collage.

God has us in the middle of a massive - WHAT IS NEXT - situation and Jon and I are so excited for the answers. Lots of life changes on the way. I'll post soon with specific updates.

I'm unsure of blogging, but I'm sure of one thing

2007-08-20T18:46:00.000-05:00

A friend of a friend passed away unexpectedly this weekend. One thing was repeated in the room where he lay, "No more questions. Only answers."

There is so much I am unsure of in this world, but I am sure of one thing. God created this world and loved us so much, that when man messed it up, he sent his son to provide salvation to us. He gave us a way out of the mess and provided true life. A life of dependance on him.

What is my purpose in this world? I was blessed to be brought up in a home where I was constantly told about and shown God's love. I built and am building a relationship with Christ, and I am to show others his love and help them build a relationship.