Light

This afternoon I was privileged to spend some time with the most amazing woman on the planet. Tara is the embodiment of light. I mean really she is because Jesus lives in her, and He is light. But she is one of those spirits that just exudes His light. You can't help but be drawn to her.

I walked down the hallway passing chemo patient after chemo patient and their pulled privacy curtain. Tara's cubicle was the penthouse at the end of the hall - two windows, full length hospital bed. She sat there like a little chemo patient model with her cream knit hat, sparkling blue eyes, tan face and freshly glossed lips. I had 20 minutes before I needed to get back to a nursing baby, and she started asking ME how I was. Seriously.  

No doubt about it, she is walking through an unenviable storm. It is not fair and I want to whine at God and stomp my feet on her behalf, and I wish we could just pull her out of it. But in the middle of the storm, she is choosing to allow Christ's light to shine so bright.

Tara- thank you. Thank you for relying on God in your weakness. I hate what you are going thru. I hate it for you that your beloved is working a new job in Tulsa while you sit in your chemo cubicle a state away. Yet as we spent our 20 minutes together- you filled it with listing what you are thankful for instead of what is so obviously not fair about this entire situation. You probably didn't even realize it because being positive is second nature to you. You talked of how thankful you are that Tully's Florida job ended within days of you needing major surgery to rid you of the first bout of cancer so that he was free to take care of you. You relished in your memories of galavanting Europe just before learning of the cancer. You counted yourself blessed that your kids are here with you and your parents during these treatments. I could continue listing the blessings you mentioned. 

I just wanted to tell you thank you for being a light even when I'm sure you don't feel up to the task- even when you don't realize you are shining. God truly is shining thru you. 

I pray that today you are encouraged, strengthened, and reminded of God's truth. I also pray that this very unwelcomed cancer is kicked to the curb. You are loved Tara.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

Bites of thanks

Renée – you are getting teeth. Surely!? A pearly white had best produce itself soon to account for the unending strand of newborn-ish nights, runny nose, and drool covered onesies.

I just went to Walgreens and splurged on anything teething comfortish. You'd think I know what works after three kids. Instead, I had a fellow sweatpanted mom pulling her favorite trick off the shelf.

At breakfast, Davis pointed to our kitchen chalkboard to read Psalm 50:23, "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." 

So I explained "sacrifice" to Davis. From the sliding scale of giving up the last chocolate milk (if it comes to that) to Jesus giving his life for us. 

Then I made myself say out loud five things I'm thankful for. Once I got started it came easily. So in Ann Voskamp style, I will do my best to continue to pave the road for salvation today. 

Today could be the day

I can't count how many times I've thought those words in the past 3 weeks.  This Saturday is Davis' due date. I wonder if he knows this?  

I woke up last night with a few more contractions. I guess Davis must realize something is going on.  

I am beyond nervous and emotional and scared - but all of that is wrapped up in a strange peace. My verses of strength lately are so apt:

Psalm 121 I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth!  He will not let you stumble and fall; the one who watches over you will not sleep.

I realize the 'sleep' commentary will apply more and more to my situation and almost (almost) laugh when I'm up at 2:00 ...and 3:00...and 4:00 a.m. and the verse pops into my head. Must get used to this. 

I am so excited for that moment when I will hold Davis and see his beautiful f

ace, hands, feet and I will watch Jon melt and I know I will cry and turn into a blubbery mess.  I do this - and it is NOT pretty. Poor Jon can attest. I've been blubbery often lately. 

Speaking of blubbery - Sarah and I laughed hard while we took this picture last week:

Carving 2008

Sarah and I carved our pumpkins last night. We took our inspirations from Martha Stewart. 

In pregnancy news - I have started the dreaded waddle. In the past two days - there is a new sensation - I'll call pain - that allows for only a waddle. I'm hoping this was caused by too much yoga and will fade soon.  

Til then, Jon has gotten used to pulling me out of cars and pushing me out of bed. 

The Color Drive 2008

This was my 7th annual Color Drive. The 3rd weekend of every October is reserved for the rest of my life. The title was coined by Pike County in 1988.  To them it is a county wide craft festival, antique show, garage sale.  To the women in Jon's family - it is so much more. We started our tradition in 2001. I was blessed to join in 2002. Rhonda, Sarah (Jon's sister), and I always attend and meet up with Connie (Jon's aunt) and Nanny (Jon's Grandma). Amanda (my closest comrade) and Katie (Sarah's closest comrade) have each made the trip 3 or 4 times as well and have a standing lifetime invitation.  

It's not possible to put the weekend into words.  It's always the same - and always completely different.

We stay at Nanny's in Pittsfield, Illinois.  Both Rhonda and St

eve - Jon's parents - grew up in this town of under 5,000.  The weekend is spent in Connie's suburban making our trek across Pike County.  Pike County is just over the Mississippi River between Missouri and Illinois. 

The weekend in statements and photos (see the title link for more pics):

• We visit the family tree at their burial sites and bring them annual gifts.                         This year - mini muffins from our yummy brunch at The Eagle's Nest in Louisiana
• Non-failingly, we visit Wilhelmina Ringling Pappenfort. She is buried with her husband - Otto, and family at the crest of a hill overlooking the mighty Mississippi. Unfortunately, she is faced the opposite way. Fortunately, her view really doesn't count. And we get a beautiful view as we visit.  We haven't met Wilhemina, but her name captured us in 2002 and we've said hello ever since. One day we believe she'll become a character in a children's book. 
• Fried snickers, funnel cakes, corn dogs, (sloppy joe if your prego), fries with sugar, the BEST root beer you've ever tasted, breakfast around Nanny's table each morning - always biscuits and gravy and of course Nesquik.
• BITTERSWEET. I was introduced to my love in 2001 and look forward to scavenging each year. It is a vine and the females produce an amazing orange cluster of berries. It's perfect for wreaths or decorations. We find it for sale at antique / craft shops - usually at the cost of $7 - $10 for a small bundle. If we sold what we found - we'd make some serious cash. But we're not in it for the money. Of course it's nice to know we bring a mint home in our trunk each year. 

I'll let the photos take it from here.  The weekend is less about the Colors (which have been so beautiful in the past) and more about the Drive. Being together in one space for a solid 48 hours has knitted us together. I am in love with these women and so honored to have them as family. 

Dr. Quinn

I am growing out my hair - which includes my bangs.  When my hair stylist does my hair - she can make my bangs stay out of my face.  I wish she were there when I woke up each morning. Instead, bobby pins have become a cherished friend. This morning I glanced in the mirror after my pinning work - and this is who I saw:

Dr. Quinn - not Sully. Sully's was the hair style I had pre-pinning. 

War

Davis and I are in the middle of a little war.  He is pushing with his feet and knees against my stomach. I started pushing back and he's

kicking - HARD.  Is it bad that this is cracking me up?